Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What I want....

This afternoon, I had a meeting with my prospective doula. I had a different lady that I was going to start up with as soon as she helped the last lady to have a baby, but she let me know that she would not be able to be my doula after all. Completely understandable, as she has a lot going on, and she wasn't charging. So, she referred me to a different lady here who is a certified doula, but who charges. I knew I still wanted someone with me, so I met with her. She gave me a third off her normal fee since I'll only have 4ish weeks left by the time we will start our doula/patient relationship. I'm very excited though, since she seemed very concerned with what I wanted and helping me achieve it.

My labor with Carlee was not traumatic by any means, in fact I was extremely blessed that everything went so well. But looking back, I regret a lot of things, I'm disappointed in how things went, and there are so many things I would change. I was not informed, I was scared, and only had Tony to help me (who was gone most of the pregnancy, and who also didn't know a thing about labor and delivery.) I gave into the doctor's advice on drugs and an epidural, even though I had originally told him I didn't want one. I felt completely not in control, like I wasn't even having a baby, and passive. My epidural was so strong that I didn't feel a thing after they administered it. I was lucky that even then, I had a strong mind/body connection and could still control my body without feeling anything, otherwise I don't doubt for a second that they would have suggested a C-section if I couldn't push effectively.

I blame the epidural and drugs for how I felt after having Carlee. I was so out of it, and felt like I had been hit by a truck. It was like my body was wondering what the hell had hit me, since during the whole event I hadn't felt a thing. I also blame the epidural for Carlee's sucking problems. It took her 2 weeks to learn how to suck right in order to eat well. Even with bottles, not just with breastfeeding, so I know it wasn't me or that she needed to "learn" to breastfeed. I never knew epidurals could cause that until recently.

This time will be different though. I have a birth plan in my head and am currently planning it out on paper. I'm hoping to go natural, do my early laboring at home, not be restrained to the bed once I'm at the hospital, and have my doula present. I want to be relaxed and will have the environment a certain way, I want to shower if I feel like it, walk if I feel like it, work through the contractions in whatever position I feel most comfortable in, hopefully snack if I need to, etc. I'm really looking foward to this birth. I can't wait to welcome our little Leah into this world, on her and my terms and in our own way.

5 comments:

Emy said...

Just keep in mind that second babies come a lot faster and you're all the way out in Mineo. Cale took 17 hours, Mabel took 4. Just sayin. Be careful. And don't be too hard on yourself. Having a baby is hard enough. There's no wrong way to do it. You'll be fine no matter what and because you know more, it should go easier. :D

gigratch said...

you CAN do it sheena!!!! it was the most empowering thing i've ever done. 9lb baby, 40 hours of labor, no pain medication! just keep in mind our bodies were made for it :)

Munchkins and Music said...

I've always wondered what it would be like having a doula. I read about them but wondered how much they would actually help. Let me know how she is. :) How much does she charge for the whole fee?

Caraloopy said...

You do what makes you feel good and safe. You know enough about my recent experience to know that doctors aren't gods; they can make mistakes too, and honestly, they DON'T always know what's best. Do your research, be informed, and do what you want to do. You can definitely do it.
Am I too late already? Long time for no post from you...

Sheena said...

Emy - I will definitely keep that in mind. I won't be too hard on myself, if something comes up that I won't be able to do it, then I'll accept that. Especially if it's an emergency, I definitely want them to take care of my baby and me. But, I really want to have more control this time.

Grigatch - Thanks =) Hopefully 40 hours of labor will not be in my future, or yours again either!

M&M - I will def. give an update about the whole event. She normally charges $600 for the whole pregnancy. Meets with you, teaches you, etc. Then goes "on call" at 36 weeks and will basically drop anything to be with you for your entire labor & delivery, and then stay afterwards too. I'm looking foward to working with her.

Caraloopy - Nope, not too late. :D I'm just still insanely busy (as always.) hehe And I defintely know doctors are not gods, that's what really irritates me is that a lot of times, they think they know what's best for you, but won't even listen to what you're saying. And really, the whole way Americans have been laboring & delivering lately is all about what's good for the doctor, from the drugs, to the position, to inducing and unneeded C-Sections. It's all about the doctor's schedule, and what makes it easy for him. Sorry, Mr. Doctor, but you're not pushing my baby out. lol

Thanks for checking by everyone!